Eva, honey....no one gives a shit about your brain.

But… did you know that Dolph Lundgren has a M.S. in Chemistry, and turned down a scholarship for a Ph.D. program at M.I.T. when he got the part of Drago in Rocky IV?  And, unlike certain other heavily accented movie action stars, Lundgren actually won the European martial arts championship, using his prize money to finance his education.

Shoes,

Him I resepect, and not only for his mind.

This chick isn’t that fine.  She’s not hard on the eyes, granted, but she doesn’t even make my top 10 list of babes I’d like to boink.

And that show she is in, Desperate Whoreswives, what a lame Sunday Soap.

Oh Elvis! Yay.

Um, Scorpy?? Just what do you mean by that?

*someone said Dolf*

Uhm, I wish I was built like him?

What didja think I meant?

What, didja think I was having a Brokeback Science moment or sumpin?

Brokeback Boxing perhaps.

Or wrasslin.

His body’s kinda icky, actually.
Most gals kinda like real guys.

Dolf’s OK.  Sumbitch still owes me five dollars from the time we were arm raslin.  If ya gonna come, come strong or don’t come at all, Dolfy boy.

That was your beer, silly.

Someone spilled a beer????????

That’s akeehol abuse.  Why, I aughta................

Sorry Elvis, I knocked yer beer over.

‘sOK, Scorps.  I know ya didna mean it.  That beer, was like a beer to me.  We’ll all miss him, but theres more where he came from.

Wench, two more flagons of ale for me buddy Scorpius ‘n me.

All together now............... Oh, I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK.............

You are like the guuuly men. Bah!

Yes, wench Sondra, more biiieeer, and make it snappy!

*smacks Sondra on the patootie*

Ahnold,

Whaddee Pepe tell ju ‘bout messeeng ‘roun hees turf?  Doan make me keek ju ahss agane, eh amigo.

Vamoos, muchacho!

Ooh, Pepe lie dee patootie slahpeeng, si.

If you don’t behave Misters, you’re gonna get a lickin’!

Izzat a promise, SK?

Meestress,

Pepe has bean berry, berry bad.  He needa leekeeng rideaway.  Lemme geet my chaps.  How ju spell “ahn da lay?”

Sondrie,

Who’s the licker and who’s the lickee?  I need to no how to dress for the occasion.

One doesn’t want to get caught in the dreaded “Sock Gap”.

Whatever you do NEVER wear the dress socks with the shorts. Ever.

Cool. This is like exhibition cyber sex!

Unless you want to turn on the local AARP social.

Sondra
Point that you made so clear. If this admittedly knock out does not want to be seen as sexy babe why did she work so hard at posing for all those sexy pics? Then cries wolf. She cannot have it both ways.

*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*
Jack Hamilton’s the winnah!!!

So now does Jack get the lickin’?  That is soooo unfair!
*crosses arms and goes into deep pout*

We had a class at my college called “Physics for Poets”

What was the topic again?

And yet my engineering degree doesn’t get me anywhere near her paycheck.  Knew I shoulda majored in kinesology.  Who knew Hollywood needed that specialty.  *shrugs*

the science of watching anatomy in motion....

crap, i just realized i’ve probably got a minor in that to go with engineering sheepskin.

Kinesiology? BFD.  Back in the day we called it P.E.  Betcha if you asked her to write a set of equations defining the loading and motion of a knee joint, she couldn’t begin.

So - what’s the consensus?

Should we send Eva an “If Only These Were Brains” T-shirt?

yeah, and a water pistol to soak it with, and then we can practice some Kenisologizing on her…

wait, i forgot to add “...and a trampoline...”

Kinesiology? BFD.  Back in the day we called it P.E

My friends and I called it babe watchin’.

As for the t-shirt, water pistol, and trampoline; just replace Eva with Sondra and that’ll work.  Eva don’t really do anything for me.